Small Kindnesses, Little Things

An early Happy Halloween to all! E and I have a pumpkin to carve to get ready for Brandy Hall's tricker-treaters tomorrow night. It'll be so much fun to see little hobbit lads and lasses in all manner of costumes from adorable to silly to scary. We haven't had any tricker-treaters for years, so we're looking forward to our Halloween visitors. Are you dressing up, or are your children? Please take some pictures, and email them to me! Also, I am soliciting suggestions for easy costumes...I have the option of dressing up for choir rehearsal on Thursday night, and I think that sounds like great fun. Any ideas?

Two weeks have raced past since my last post, and October is almost spent! I often feel that time moves faster in the fall than at any other time of the year, and this is simultaneously invigorating and frustrating. Autumn is such a beautiful time of year, and I am in no hurry to replace the crisp, colorful days with colder, grayer ones. I also enjoy the anticipation of the holidays...Thanksgiving first, and then Advent, the four Sundays leading to Christmas Eve and the weeks in-between them. Advent is my favorite time of the year, so it is fun to know that it will be here soon. But I sometimes wonder if I enjoy knowing that it is coming almost as much as I actually enjoy celebrating it. I don't want November to rush by, but I know it will. And once Advent begins, it will rush by as well...Christmas always seems to come too fast (unless you're a kid waiting for Santa, of course). It seems as though things don't slow down and return to a reasonable pace again until January. Ack! Do any of you have suggestions for making time move a little slower at this manic time of year? What can we do to force ourselves to be a bit more in the present, to focus on each day, to enjoy the anticipation but enjoy it in THIS MOMENT. Perhaps it helps to focus on the little things, the easy-to-forget happenings that humanize your day and make it unique. Sometimes something small can be something very, very big.

Case in point: every Wednesday, E and I meet at our favorite burrito joint for our lunch date. Our lunch dates are SACRED. Nothing interrupts them or pushes them off the calendar. This is our one absolutely fail-safe time to connect during the week. We started this tradition when I was in grad school, and it became such a high-point of the week for both of us that we continued it even after my master's degree was finished and our lives were more sane. But now, the lunch date has become not just enjoyable but critical once again; E's school days are working him hard and keeping him away from home many hours every week. Anyhow, on this particular lunch date two weeks ago, our burritos had been assembled to our specifications, and we came to the cash register to pay. The gentleman there, who we see every week, smiled kindly and said "This week it's on me. You guys are in here all the time. I'm taking care of it today." It was so completely unexpected. We were speechless. We finally managed to smile and thank him. He just kept smiling in return. He could probably tell that he'd made our day. One lunch date that we didn't have to pay for enabled us to have another date guilt-free, and that was really nice. But even more than that, it was lovely to be thought of as regulars, as members of the community. The sweet man at the burrito place gave us a gift much bigger than two burritos. He gave us a little bit of home, a step along our path to actually belonging here in our new town. His small kindness was no small thing to either of us. We are still very moved by it. Thank you, Burrito Man.

On Saturday, I went on retreat with the women's chorus that I sing with. And the day was filled with little joys that added up to a much happier Jessisca by the end of it. There was warm, scrumptious food, as much of it as I could eat, that I didn't have to plan or prepare...all I had to do was savor it. There was singing and laughing. There was an Alexander Technique workshop (please see www.alexandertechnique.com if you are interested) that reminded me that my body can be pain-free if I learn to take care of it. There was a wonderful, meandering walk with a new friend through yellow woods and fading gardens, alongside glittering golden ponds, and underneath a blue-gray, late-afternoon autumn sky. There was standing perfectly still for several minutes watching a bat swoop and circle to catch his breakfast. There was sitting around a fire, letting the warmth soak into my bones and the wood-smoke smell fill my nose. There were really nice chats with interesting women with whom I had not talked before. There was brain-storming and dreaming. There was much silliness and mirth. There was no life except the life of the retreat. For one whole day, I did not worry about The Conservatory or my church choir or the fact that my corner of Brandy Hall is a BIG MESS right now. I just existed in each moment and let the day take me. And I had such gratitude for the food, the fellowship, the natural beauty of the retreat site, the fire, the music, the fun. All little things, but they all meant so much to me. They centered me. All of the elements of the retreat, collectively, gave me peace of mind like I have not felt since our move to IL. I was so lucky to be part of it.

So how do we keep a little of that retreat mentality in our normal days? I don't know, but I'm trying. Yesterday, I had to go to work at church in the morning, and I worked at orchestra rehearsal in the afternoon. But there was some time in-between. So E and I went for a walk to enjoy the gorgeous autumn weather. Even though we didn't have a lot of time, we tried not to hurry. We stopped to look at a honey bee gathering nectar from clover flowers (for the record, I think honey bees are adorable!). We watched a turtle sun-bathing on the bank of a shallow, cattail-populated pond, and soaked up a few rays of our own. We kicked noisily through the leaf-covered ground. We stopped to share a kiss in a secluded spot. We held hands. Mostly, we just enjoyed a few precious minutes together. One half-hour, filled with lots of little things. Magical, every-day things. Life-changing things.

LOTR REPORT
Our hobbit heroes have done so much since I last posted! They've gotten lost in the Old Forest and been attacked by that mean Old Man Willow. They were rescued by Tom Bombadil, and they rested in the home of Tom and his lovely Goldberry. They've been attacked by Barrow-wights. Question: how do you picture a Barrow-wight? I have a hard time NOT thinking of them as being a bit like the Black Riders, but I imagine wraiths and wights are not the same kinds of icky things, so this is probably an example of my imagination being lazy. What do they look like in your mind's eye? Whatever they are, they are sure creepy! Anyway, the hobbit quartet has also, thankfully, been rescued from the freaky Barrow-wights by good 'ole Tom Bombadil once again. Thank goodness for Tom and his irrepressible, unshakable spirit. I have to say, I'm actually really glad that Tom was ommitted from the Peter Jackson film. I just don't think that he and Goldberry are filmable. How can you put them into the bodies of a mortal actor and actress? Tom and Goldberry exist, at least partially, outside of the boundaries of imagination (except for Professor Tolkien's, of course). They are spirits of woods, of water, of time, of life. I absolutely LOVE reading about them, but I can barely imagine them physically. I get little glimmers, fuzzy images, but nothing realy concrete. I sort of doubt, somehow, that they are limited to their physical, bodily existances, which makes them hard to visualize. And this is the way it should be for these remarkable characters. If they look just like you or me or the people next door, they become too ordinary, too human. So I say again, good decision not to try to film them, Mr. Jackson.

Moving ahead, our company of hobbits has made it to Bree, and Strider has finally showed up!!! I love how Tolkien makes you think he's a Black Rider, slipping over the walls of Bree and into the shadows, completely unnoticed by Harry the Gate-Keeper. But thankfully, no. I'm glad that Frodo's intuition tells him to trust Strider even before Gandalf's letter is produced by the embarrassed, forgetful Butterbur (poor old man, he means well). Frodo needs Strider's help almost immediately since he foolishly forgets that the Ring has a will of its own and puts the Enemy in a position of advantage; whether or not he meant to slip the Ring on during his story-telling, he most certainly DID, and now the Black Riders have the homing signal for which they've been waiting. Nice going, Frodo. Anyhow, Gandalf's several-month-old letter makes it clear that he has been waylaid, and the hobbits cannot wait for him any longer. Frodo has agreed to let Strider help them, and when Merry reappears, the need for that help becomes frighteningly clear. The Black Riders are in Bree! Merry saw them, and he felt the Black Breath. Poor Merry! Things are getting very scary indeed. Be careful, hobbits, and stay close to Strider!!!

Other readers/Tolkien appreciators: please share your thoughts! I'd love for this to be a discussion.